If there is one thing that I have learned in over the past four or five months it is that God is ultimately in control of everything, and even when I think my plan is good enough... It isn't. It never will be. He has a plan that is far greater than anything that I could ever imagine. So, where do I even begin?
Well I left school last year assuming that I would be back to see my friends, the people that had become my family, so it was not goodbyes when we left but rather a simple "I'll see you in August". It turns out that was not going to be the case. Weeks later as I was home, in the midst of a summer class, preparing for camp and reflecting on the past year, I was still set on going back to that school that I then called home and the people that I called my family.
So, camp began at the end of June and I dove in head first to the work, that needed to be accomplished. I wasn't really thinking that I was going to learn much this summer, but oh boy was I wrong. I would sit in chapel the first week and I wasn't really thinking, "even though this is for the kids, what can I be learning from it." Later in the first week, the kids had gone home for the day and we were sitting in our family camp chapel, and I had this moment of realization that I did not want to go back to the school I had come from. I felt God leading me in a different direction, and even though I was set on going back, I knew this was a moment when I needed to follow what God was calling me to. I knew it would be different, but I figured that it was going to be an easy transition.
As I found out that everything had worked out to come to this new school, this new home, I grew excited to see what God was going to do in this next piece of my journey. But, being at camp while this was all happening I didn't really have a lot of time to prepare or let it sink in that I was starting a new adventure.
In the midst of the upcoming change, I was being stretched spiritually more than I had ever been stretched before. I felt like if one more challenge, or struggle or trial was put in front of me, that I just would not be able to handle it at all. But, here I am. I survived. But, it was only by the grace of God, and His strength that I got through any of it. I look back and see all the things that He was teaching me, and I am grateful. I realize that the hard times, the pain and the tears were worth every second, because it made me come out looking to Jesus in the end rather than trying to figure everything out on my own.
And now, sitting in this new place. Knowing only a handful of people. Trying to figure out which way is up, where I fit. I realize that this summer was a preparation for what this year was going to be. I realized that God brought me through what He did so that I would be looking to Him in these moments, when I'm lost, confused, and don't want to be where I am. He has me, He has a plan, a plan that is far better than anything that I could ever think of. Someone said to me... Gods got his arms wrapped around you with His fingers locked and He is never letting you go. This image of Christ just made me joyous at the fact that God really never does let us go. He'll be there through it all. He'll be right there when we turn around and decide to trust Him with every little or big thing.
