If there is one thing that I have learned in over the past four or five months it is that God is ultimately in control of everything, and even when I think my plan is good enough... It isn't. It never will be. He has a plan that is far greater than anything that I could ever imagine. So, where do I even begin?
Well I left school last year assuming that I would be back to see my friends, the people that had become my family, so it was not goodbyes when we left but rather a simple "I'll see you in August". It turns out that was not going to be the case. Weeks later as I was home, in the midst of a summer class, preparing for camp and reflecting on the past year, I was still set on going back to that school that I then called home and the people that I called my family.
So, camp began at the end of June and I dove in head first to the work, that needed to be accomplished. I wasn't really thinking that I was going to learn much this summer, but oh boy was I wrong. I would sit in chapel the first week and I wasn't really thinking, "even though this is for the kids, what can I be learning from it." Later in the first week, the kids had gone home for the day and we were sitting in our family camp chapel, and I had this moment of realization that I did not want to go back to the school I had come from. I felt God leading me in a different direction, and even though I was set on going back, I knew this was a moment when I needed to follow what God was calling me to. I knew it would be different, but I figured that it was going to be an easy transition.
As I found out that everything had worked out to come to this new school, this new home, I grew excited to see what God was going to do in this next piece of my journey. But, being at camp while this was all happening I didn't really have a lot of time to prepare or let it sink in that I was starting a new adventure.
In the midst of the upcoming change, I was being stretched spiritually more than I had ever been stretched before. I felt like if one more challenge, or struggle or trial was put in front of me, that I just would not be able to handle it at all. But, here I am. I survived. But, it was only by the grace of God, and His strength that I got through any of it. I look back and see all the things that He was teaching me, and I am grateful. I realize that the hard times, the pain and the tears were worth every second, because it made me come out looking to Jesus in the end rather than trying to figure everything out on my own.
And now, sitting in this new place. Knowing only a handful of people. Trying to figure out which way is up, where I fit. I realize that this summer was a preparation for what this year was going to be. I realized that God brought me through what He did so that I would be looking to Him in these moments, when I'm lost, confused, and don't want to be where I am. He has me, He has a plan, a plan that is far better than anything that I could ever think of. Someone said to me... Gods got his arms wrapped around you with His fingers locked and He is never letting you go. This image of Christ just made me joyous at the fact that God really never does let us go. He'll be there through it all. He'll be right there when we turn around and decide to trust Him with every little or big thing.
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Monday, April 8, 2013
Without Fear
For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. -2 Timothy 1:7
Without fear.
That little statement has so much meaning in it. I find myself being so afraid to do things, to mess things up, to make the wrong decision, or to do something completely irrational. I have been reading through first and second Timothy the past couple of days and have stumbled across several truths that I had not really thought about before, but the one that stood out to me the most was the fact that we, as believers do not have a spirit of fear.
A week ago I found myself facing a fear that I had no desire to conquer, and I literally had a list of things that I was afraid of. It wasn't until 20 minutes ago as I read this verse that I realized that my fear seemed so silly. I have a God that overcame the grave, and I am here being afraid of such little things? That doesn't make any sense at all.
Even though I knew it in my head, I realized that God really is going to give me the strength to get through the things that I cannot handle on my own... and by that, I mean He is going to give me the strength to get through this life, because without Him I am nothing. I don't have to think about facing life alone, because I have a Savior that is always present.
God gave us a spirit of love. Love. That doesn't mean that I can go around being disrespectful to others, treating other people like they don't matter, and acting like I am better than the world. That means I humble myself, and show love to others in whatever way that I can. I always have to love people. Always. Whether I feel like loving them or not. God doesn't stop loving us because we do something wrong so He doesn't feel like loving us anymore. And if we are called to love our brothers just as Christ loved us, then we can't stop loving others just because we don't feel like it. I catch myself doing that so many times. Someone does something that seems annoying or mean and I automatically want to write that person off and turn my back to them. But that is no way to treat others, and definitely is not a way to show Christ to others.
So then there's that little thing called self-control.. okay not so little? Maybe it's the BIG thing called self-control. This my friends is something that I constantly am working on. And it goes hand in hand with loving others and trusting that God will give me strength. There are going to be times when I just can't stand someone, my patience are gone, or I've taken just about all I can handle, but that is when I need to lean on God's strength even more. I can't let my mind wander in fear. I can't forget all things that I am supposed to do just because I'm tired. And I most certainly cannot stop loving people just because I don't think that I can handle being around them.
God is good. He is not going to leave us hanging when we are scared, when we are powerless, or when we are lacking in self-control. But, we need to lean on Him, trust in Him completely to give us the strength we need, to guide us through life, and to help us live without fear.
Without fear.
That little statement has so much meaning in it. I find myself being so afraid to do things, to mess things up, to make the wrong decision, or to do something completely irrational. I have been reading through first and second Timothy the past couple of days and have stumbled across several truths that I had not really thought about before, but the one that stood out to me the most was the fact that we, as believers do not have a spirit of fear.
A week ago I found myself facing a fear that I had no desire to conquer, and I literally had a list of things that I was afraid of. It wasn't until 20 minutes ago as I read this verse that I realized that my fear seemed so silly. I have a God that overcame the grave, and I am here being afraid of such little things? That doesn't make any sense at all.
Even though I knew it in my head, I realized that God really is going to give me the strength to get through the things that I cannot handle on my own... and by that, I mean He is going to give me the strength to get through this life, because without Him I am nothing. I don't have to think about facing life alone, because I have a Savior that is always present.
God gave us a spirit of love. Love. That doesn't mean that I can go around being disrespectful to others, treating other people like they don't matter, and acting like I am better than the world. That means I humble myself, and show love to others in whatever way that I can. I always have to love people. Always. Whether I feel like loving them or not. God doesn't stop loving us because we do something wrong so He doesn't feel like loving us anymore. And if we are called to love our brothers just as Christ loved us, then we can't stop loving others just because we don't feel like it. I catch myself doing that so many times. Someone does something that seems annoying or mean and I automatically want to write that person off and turn my back to them. But that is no way to treat others, and definitely is not a way to show Christ to others.
So then there's that little thing called self-control.. okay not so little? Maybe it's the BIG thing called self-control. This my friends is something that I constantly am working on. And it goes hand in hand with loving others and trusting that God will give me strength. There are going to be times when I just can't stand someone, my patience are gone, or I've taken just about all I can handle, but that is when I need to lean on God's strength even more. I can't let my mind wander in fear. I can't forget all things that I am supposed to do just because I'm tired. And I most certainly cannot stop loving people just because I don't think that I can handle being around them.
God is good. He is not going to leave us hanging when we are scared, when we are powerless, or when we are lacking in self-control. But, we need to lean on Him, trust in Him completely to give us the strength we need, to guide us through life, and to help us live without fear.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Faith of a Child
I have never took much time to consider what goes on in the mind of a child, what a child is capable of, or what I could learn from a child (which might seem odd considering that I am going to teach children some day). It just has never crossed my mind to go down to the level of a child and actually try to understand the thought process that he or she has. And, even though we were all there at some point, we do not remember exactly what it was like to think like a child with innocence, sincerity, passion, imagination, and creativity.
I received a little something that a child had written down, and it had a huge impact on the way that I thought. I was in the midst of thinking through a lot of things and just diving into my relationship with Christ, and I guess to say the least, wasn't sure where to begin. Then, I sat and read through the beautiful words that this child had written down and I realized that there was a beautify simplicity to the things that this child had to say. She was innocently surrendering her life to her Heavenly Father. Wholeheartedly giving all that a child has away to a God that she couldn't even see. This beautiful simplicity that was demonstrated here brought tears to my eyes.
How could I be so blind to the fact that serving my God isn't something that takes all the theology in the world. It doesn't take looking a certain way, walking a certain way, or being a certain type of person. It simply means giving everything that I am to Christ and living my life in a way that is pleasing and honoring to Him, and Him alone.
We aren't going to be perfect at this whole Christianity thing. Our relationship with God isn't always going to be exactly what we think it should be. And, it is not always going to be easy to give everything that we are up for Christ, but that is what serving God wholeheartedly, with childlike faith, looks like.
I received a little something that a child had written down, and it had a huge impact on the way that I thought. I was in the midst of thinking through a lot of things and just diving into my relationship with Christ, and I guess to say the least, wasn't sure where to begin. Then, I sat and read through the beautiful words that this child had written down and I realized that there was a beautify simplicity to the things that this child had to say. She was innocently surrendering her life to her Heavenly Father. Wholeheartedly giving all that a child has away to a God that she couldn't even see. This beautiful simplicity that was demonstrated here brought tears to my eyes.
How could I be so blind to the fact that serving my God isn't something that takes all the theology in the world. It doesn't take looking a certain way, walking a certain way, or being a certain type of person. It simply means giving everything that I am to Christ and living my life in a way that is pleasing and honoring to Him, and Him alone.
We aren't going to be perfect at this whole Christianity thing. Our relationship with God isn't always going to be exactly what we think it should be. And, it is not always going to be easy to give everything that we are up for Christ, but that is what serving God wholeheartedly, with childlike faith, looks like.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Open Hands
I have been told several times over the past few months to be "open handed" about life, people, and situations that are going on around me. To have a clenched fist is to be holding onto things that you are unwilling to give over to God, and this visual has really helped me to see what it looks like to surrender completely. Personally, I am very bad at letting people and things go because I want to fix things, change things and make everything right. But, in reality there is no way that I am going to be able to do that.
There are going to be times when we have to endure suffering, and when we will have to face trials, but when we face them with an open hand, and let God have control we will start to see the beautiful thing that He is doing through that trial. I always have to remember that when I am in the situation I cannot see the bigger picture. I don't know what this little part of my life looks like in the grand scheme of things. All I can do is trust that God is doing a work in my life that is going to make me stronger in the end, and that whatever it is, it is going to be pleasing to Him.
"Sometimes you've got to put on your waders and walk through the mud."
So, it is inevitable that we are going to face problems, trials and hardships in our lives, but how we react and handle them is key. Keep an open hand, don't clench your fist and hold onto little pieces of something... which is obviously easier said than done.. and let God have all of you.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
My Identity?
Life... sometimes it is just one of those really funny things. Okay, maybe yours isn't? Mine is just full of moments where I look at myself and say.. "Abbie, what were you thinking?"... "Why are you trying to take control?"
So, I'm a little bit of a control freak and I always need to know what is going on around me and I do not like it when I am not in control of the things. I want to pick up the pieces, mend the brokenness, rebuild the broken bridges, and any other weird analogy you would like to use to explain that feeling where you just want everything to be "okay" and back to normal. I don't do well with conflict and I don't always have it all together. Why? Because I am human, I am flawed, and I am not perfect.
I say all of this to give you a little background. I sometimes can't help but laugh at myself for thinking that I can do things in my own strength. For thinking that I have it all under control. For not letting God have my life completely.
I try to hold a tight grasp around the things in my life that I feel that I can (and need to) control myself... which that's funny because I can't do anything on my own. I have recently learned never to say "never" when I am living a life that is NOT my own. God has a plan that I cannot see and He is slowly revealing that plan to me, one piece at a time. All I want is to see what the picture looks like when all of the pieces to the puzzle are put together, but that obviously is not what God has planned for me right now. If He wanted me to know what my life was going to look like a ten years from now, or even what it will look like six months from now, then He would direct me there.
But, right now I have learned that patience is a beautiful thing and that we are not going to know all of the answers right now. It takes time to figure things out, and God works in amazing ways to get us to the places that He wants us to be.
I may be human, flawed, and imperfect... but I am also loved, adopted, and forgiven. Most importantly, my identity is in Christ. Not in any thing, hobby, friend, family member, job or anything of this world. It is in Christ. This life is not mine, it is His to use. I can plan all I want to for a future that I see myself having, but our plans fail, because God has a beautiful and perfect plan for our lives.
So, I'm a little bit of a control freak and I always need to know what is going on around me and I do not like it when I am not in control of the things. I want to pick up the pieces, mend the brokenness, rebuild the broken bridges, and any other weird analogy you would like to use to explain that feeling where you just want everything to be "okay" and back to normal. I don't do well with conflict and I don't always have it all together. Why? Because I am human, I am flawed, and I am not perfect.
I say all of this to give you a little background. I sometimes can't help but laugh at myself for thinking that I can do things in my own strength. For thinking that I have it all under control. For not letting God have my life completely.
I try to hold a tight grasp around the things in my life that I feel that I can (and need to) control myself... which that's funny because I can't do anything on my own. I have recently learned never to say "never" when I am living a life that is NOT my own. God has a plan that I cannot see and He is slowly revealing that plan to me, one piece at a time. All I want is to see what the picture looks like when all of the pieces to the puzzle are put together, but that obviously is not what God has planned for me right now. If He wanted me to know what my life was going to look like a ten years from now, or even what it will look like six months from now, then He would direct me there.
But, right now I have learned that patience is a beautiful thing and that we are not going to know all of the answers right now. It takes time to figure things out, and God works in amazing ways to get us to the places that He wants us to be.
I may be human, flawed, and imperfect... but I am also loved, adopted, and forgiven. Most importantly, my identity is in Christ. Not in any thing, hobby, friend, family member, job or anything of this world. It is in Christ. This life is not mine, it is His to use. I can plan all I want to for a future that I see myself having, but our plans fail, because God has a beautiful and perfect plan for our lives.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Amazing Love
"By trying to grab fulfillment everywhere, we find it nowhere." - Elisabeth Elliot
Time and time again I find myself looking for purpose, fulfillment, and worth in things, people and actions in and of this world. As I jump into something that I think will give me purpose I will without a doubt be disappointed by the outcome of this situation. Anything that I think may give me meaning that is of this world is going to leave me empty time and time again.
I think this hold true with a lot of people. We search the world for meaning, for acceptance, for our place, and for peace, but in the end we come out empty handed because the one thing that we need is not going to be found in this world. I got a great reminder this morning of God's amazing love for us. There are times when I let it slip my mind that I am loved by a God that is greater than anything that we can fathom or anything that we can find in this world.
I find myself wrapped up in people pleasing and trying to get other people to love me or to understand me, but the truth of the matter is that I am already loved by such an amazing God that there is no need to seek approval by other people. God has stolen my heart, and I think that sometimes I forget how great of a gift that actually is. His love covered every sin, His blood set me free. That realization is one that makes even what seems like the biggest tragedy in the world, seem small and irrelevant. God's love is not dependent upon my actions, my love, or my talent. God's love is unfailing, unending, and greater than any other love. That is one thing I never want to forget.
Time and time again I find myself looking for purpose, fulfillment, and worth in things, people and actions in and of this world. As I jump into something that I think will give me purpose I will without a doubt be disappointed by the outcome of this situation. Anything that I think may give me meaning that is of this world is going to leave me empty time and time again.
I think this hold true with a lot of people. We search the world for meaning, for acceptance, for our place, and for peace, but in the end we come out empty handed because the one thing that we need is not going to be found in this world. I got a great reminder this morning of God's amazing love for us. There are times when I let it slip my mind that I am loved by a God that is greater than anything that we can fathom or anything that we can find in this world.
I find myself wrapped up in people pleasing and trying to get other people to love me or to understand me, but the truth of the matter is that I am already loved by such an amazing God that there is no need to seek approval by other people. God has stolen my heart, and I think that sometimes I forget how great of a gift that actually is. His love covered every sin, His blood set me free. That realization is one that makes even what seems like the biggest tragedy in the world, seem small and irrelevant. God's love is not dependent upon my actions, my love, or my talent. God's love is unfailing, unending, and greater than any other love. That is one thing I never want to forget.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
What does love look like?
"Sometimes truly loving a person is not telling them everything that is wrong with them, but it's telling them everything that is right with Jesus." - Pastor Rob Phillips
This is an idea that I am still trying to completely rap my mind around. What would my life look like if I actually reacted in this way to other people? I realized that this is far from my first reaction when I am challenged with loving someone when it is not easy to love that person. I have made it a personal goal to react in love to other people.
What does that look like? I'm no expert, but I am striving to do a few things to show love to other people rather than reacting in a unloving and degrading manner when challenges come about. It is no easy task, and I catch myself quite frequently reacting in a way that is in fact unloving and that is when I have to stop, breathe and bite my tongue before I say something that I will later regret. I have made a point this semester to be a person that gives more than I take, and to love those that I come in contact with every day rather than being judgmental. God has put these people in my life right now, and they are the people that I need to be continuously ministering to and pouring into.
I think that so many times we want to nit pick and tell everyone all of the little things that bother us about them and we don't take the time to slow down and appreciate them and truly love them. I am guilty of this myself. The quote above was an incredible reminder to me about what love should really look like. Sometimes we thing, "Oh, I can love this person by helping them fix ..." when really that is just telling them the things that are wrong with them, and that is not showing love.
We need to look at people for who they are, how God made them, and love them just the way they are. God doesn't put limitations or conditions on His love for us, so why should we but them on our love for other people. The Bible says to build each other up, and it is not our place to judge one another, so we need to pour into other people with the love of Jesus, unconditionally, with encouragement. This includes being patient with people, even when it's not an easy thing to do. That is one area I am striving to become better at. I want love to be the way that I react to other people, the way that I live out my life, and what people can expect from me no matter what the situation is.
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, I gain nothing. -1 Corinthians 13:1-3 ESV
This is an idea that I am still trying to completely rap my mind around. What would my life look like if I actually reacted in this way to other people? I realized that this is far from my first reaction when I am challenged with loving someone when it is not easy to love that person. I have made it a personal goal to react in love to other people.
What does that look like? I'm no expert, but I am striving to do a few things to show love to other people rather than reacting in a unloving and degrading manner when challenges come about. It is no easy task, and I catch myself quite frequently reacting in a way that is in fact unloving and that is when I have to stop, breathe and bite my tongue before I say something that I will later regret. I have made a point this semester to be a person that gives more than I take, and to love those that I come in contact with every day rather than being judgmental. God has put these people in my life right now, and they are the people that I need to be continuously ministering to and pouring into.
I think that so many times we want to nit pick and tell everyone all of the little things that bother us about them and we don't take the time to slow down and appreciate them and truly love them. I am guilty of this myself. The quote above was an incredible reminder to me about what love should really look like. Sometimes we thing, "Oh, I can love this person by helping them fix ..." when really that is just telling them the things that are wrong with them, and that is not showing love.
We need to look at people for who they are, how God made them, and love them just the way they are. God doesn't put limitations or conditions on His love for us, so why should we but them on our love for other people. The Bible says to build each other up, and it is not our place to judge one another, so we need to pour into other people with the love of Jesus, unconditionally, with encouragement. This includes being patient with people, even when it's not an easy thing to do. That is one area I am striving to become better at. I want love to be the way that I react to other people, the way that I live out my life, and what people can expect from me no matter what the situation is.
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, I gain nothing. -1 Corinthians 13:1-3 ESV
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